People Stickers, Mini Vans, and Soccer Moms
My commute to work is about 45 minutes, almost entirely on major state highway. Being the very opposite of a morning person, it doesn’t take much to annoy me at 7am. One of the things that never fails to get me irritated is a mini van, especially a tan one…especially one with people stickers.
These are the most basic of people stickers. There are males in pants and females in dresses. Dad has a tie and a briefcase. Mom has collagen injected lips. There is even a baby, dog, and cat. All that’s missing is a white picket fence. As of late, there have been variations of these People Stickers.
There are the Disney People Stickers:
There are Hobby Themed People Stickers:
Notice how Dad is windsurfing and Mom is holding a purse. Thank you, People Stickers, for being as stereotypical as possible. Without you how would anyone know that dads can do awesome things and moms love holding their keys!
The thing about People Stickers is that they are only found on mini vans. I dare you to find them on any other vehicle. The Minivan is an invention that has Henry Ford rolling over in his grave. The Minivan is the most unnecessary piece of machinery, next to the treadmill and the stationary bike. There are 7 or more seats, which is a plus for families like the Bradys; however there is no trunk space. The Plymouth Voyager, which is the stepping stone for all major minivans, had about 6.2 inches of space.
How can you take all the people depicted on your back windshield on vacation with only 6.2 inches of storage?
Alas, the two were made for each other.
But how would one get to see all of these amazing minivans with such beautiful artwork? Why, Soccer Moms, of course! You know, those women that drive minivans and next to their People Stickers have: 
…because I won’t smash into your car now that I know you have a “Baby on Board.”
